Like A River

I want you so close that you meld into me,
Flowing through my veins like time itself.

Because I need you, need you to melt your body to mine and touch-
need the hush
of skin brushing skin touching skin to hot
need you to Ground me,

Make me Feel

with your skin on muscle on bone on Life-
I strive to survive a day without you and
it hurts.
Never have I given others power
over Me

Don’t even let their painful words hurt
wont let them and yet,
you have been the Only One
to break me

what 18 years of life could not do you did in a day,
and while I can while away time pretending not
not to care
I still hurt.

And try as I might to choose
Choose not to feel you
need you
want You here

I can’t stop my heart from aching so fervently for
You.

Wishes for Kisses to speak unspoken Forgiveness’s
but no,
how to cope with love and Hate-
how to get used to being used and needing so great-
letting go just to hold on

to something that might not be Real at all.
Real but not there.
Existing but not tangible.

I wish you would act not just say,
for hollow words break me more than actions desired-

because you do it to get results
and the result is I’m Addicted
to something lethal

inner battle to gain control over the mic
my heart wants you Gone and Here and gone and with

with Me

Making me feel

loved

love

why